The Pomosexual Guide to Getting Dumped and Taking it Like a Champ – trannie hall – Mar 11

Ouch. My heart hurts! I was just dumped by my partner of three years!
Ten million people die from inadequate health care every year. And you’re upset becaues that barista at sbux ruined your “third place” forever by refusing to let you to feel her up anymore? Just kidding, that’s all that matters, because the grand narrative of justice or world-historical struggle is gone, baby, gone. What’s left? Doing whatever you feel like. Welcome to the realm of the postmodern. You’ve just woken up from the Matrix. You’re a pomosexual.

What’s a pomosexual?
Pomosexuality is the convergence of the postmodern with sexuality. That is, it critiques all essentialist ideas of gender, race, class and other factors of identity. There is no essential “woman” or “man” – only a constructed idea of what each is. What does that mean for you? It’s a bit like the Army – be all that you can be.

So like transgendered people?
The emergence flourishing of transgender debates is part of pomosexuality, but not all pomosexuals are trans and many trans people are probably not pomosexuals.

So, like, what is it?
Pomosexuality is where you determine your own categories of existence. Like the girlfag.

Girl..fag?
A girlfag is a woman who is attracted to and identifies with some aspect of gay male culture or relationships, and they may want to participate in those relationships as a gay male, or just as a woman that wishes they were a gay male or so on. A similar idea is the guydyke, which is a kind of male lesbian.

Men can’t be lesbians.
Why not? Shut up! Let people be what they want to be.

You’re making this up.
If you need proof from a mainstream source, the Showtime show the L Word had a male lesbian character in the first season. There are also wikipedia pages about pomosexuality, guydykes and girlfags.

Wait, I just broke up with a barista, this doesn’t apply to me at all, though?
The coordinates of your desire need to be liberated. Embrace every aspect of the soul.

Where can I read about pomosexuality?
Don’t you get it? Don’t you see? This world is coming to an end for you, hurry!

Are you a guylady?
Guydyke. Sure. For now! I look exactly like Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly on the inside. Tomorrow I may not.

So… like… how do you have sex?
I don’t. Sexhaving is repulsive to me. Your mileage may vary!

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