Detrite Crock Shitty – swampman – Dec 10

Namaste to you, Corn Syrup God.1 I returned yesterday from a lengthy strengthy trip to the Troit. Birthplace of Diego Rivera, Detroit is nestled between two mighty rivers, the Detroit river, and another one that I didnt get to see, and a lake. As such it was the logical birthplace of…. LAND TRANSPORT?! For more jokes like the ones in this paragraph please visit onion.com,2 your source for more jokes.

I went and saw for instance, the Packard Plant, and in fact climbed around & trhough it making no effort (not even a cognitive, labor-mobilizing, poorspeak educa-muckraking social engineering one more expected of me when Im brandishing my Vanguard Cub Club Card3) to reform the utility landscape to serve the People’s greater goods/services. This building is the most photographed thing on the planet with the exception of me. Awash in a sea of neighbouring houses and one lousy-metaphor-conjuring graveyard,4 the Packard plant is fully explorable by the white 20-something public who own expensive cameras and pretty nice cars.5 Indeed there were six (6) (six!!)6 carloads of pairs & triages of privileged vegetaryan Chomskuses metamusing on & across the rotting hardwood, the collapsed garage floors, small somehow colder siderooms where the more indie wags spray more a propos tags.7 I sat two stories above the roof on a stripped-down brick freight elevator housing and glimpsed their tiny bodies go out and in of and to respectively the buildings, like little fucked up brightly colored self-moving peppercorns but slightly bigger / seen from closer than you normally see a peppercorn (from8).

I did on the other hand / side of the roof meet another man, a toughfaced dude with mega lip piercings and big tool quantities, there on a re-re-…re-return trip to the Packard plant which has been a cash cow for him for the few years he’d been coming here to collect scrap metal.9 $240 a ton for scrap iron and I helped him rip out a 150 pound piece of pipe10 and we shared a cigarette and talked about his work.11 He saw the plant like a fat goon sees a Blockbuster: a place he will work until he dies or they go bankrupt.12 He saw me as a fat goon sees a Blockbuster customer, with complete disinterest beyond a passing courtesy masking a passing disdain.13 Actuallly I dont know how he saw me & am only guessing.

Later at the Bear Hands show @ the Lagerhouse14 a young cool guy woudl tell me about in most big cities where people take so much music and art for granted, so much of the workings of the city for granted, their entire community for granted. “When something happens here, people care.” he said, and moved me a little. On the other hand thats also true of the high school punk scene in Churnfart, WI. And after he said that I went outside & saw a homeless man take a dump in front of the abandoned Michigan Central Station, where styrofoam cups implanted in the fence spelled out “Happy holidays.”

Why am I posting a thread about this. I took a dqay off from overeating in fucking Bloomfield15 to do whats considered in this forum fairly despicable16. Im still not sure of the purpose of the activitly. Did I go to see (as I so rarely do firsthand) how fucked up’s the world being handed down to me? Was it to see how fucked up things can get before I start doing something about them? Did I go with the expectation of seeing fucked up things & byfore not stop to consider the beauty as well?17 Anyone have some advice about what I should feel wrt myself, detroit, economic collapse, a half collapsed parking garage populated with massive icicle structures and beyond the floor’s edge, long streets of huddled houses, once nicer than any I’ve ever lived in, now solid with plywood, toylike?….


1) Logically proved by Epicurus, and again later through a more objectively corrective lens by Bao Xunzin, to be the ultimate possible username I would respect to.

2) in full, http://www.onion.com your source for more jokes.

3) fifty kashi cereal boxtops. now im saving up for the “mermaid sad about global warming” statuette.

4) The Lutheran Cemetery, overlooked by a particularly collapsed six-story face of the Packard ruins, is overseen by the Historic Trinity Lutheran Church on Gratiot Ave. Its establishment eightscore years ago marked the founding of the Missouri Synod, the 11th largest religious denomination in the United States, today having 2.5 million members. the cemetery itself was begun a generation after the church and were I to do further research I might try to establish some sort of overarching abstract link between the pairings church and cemetery, factory and community, industry and urban decay, but who am I kidding with that shit…..

5) I was borrowing an expensive camera and renting a nice car and am thus exempt from all criticism hencewith.

6) and from a “variety” (as in “variety pak”) of p-laces: me & my hominids from brooklyn (NUMBA #1 BAYBEE!!!), a couple from San Francisco, a group of woefully underdressed (great, a blue hoodie, way to make an effort Team Sorethumbs) native Detroitiers, some other Cali bros, didnt make contact with the other groupers tho

7) personal fave was is follows, “if hell exists, then the devil is a scientist” in curly red in an unusually clean room under the large window overlooking mashed-potato-shaped rubble mounds in the plant’s southern courtyard

8) …? That makes sense right?

9) like the initial step of trespassing, this sort of vandalism is a federal offense. but more so.

10) Because we do NOT live in the best of all possible worlds, this pipe failed to kill me when it fell off the wall end first into the railing that prevented it from neatly shooting down the stairs to crush my gorgeous head.

11) for more info check out my eduicational pamphlet Sure I’ve Talked To Poor People

12) I think Blockbuster went bankrupt? but I dont really follow the news except what I read on LF / Fark / What’s On Carlos’ Mind / Al jazeera

13) Im a white kid from nyc. lmao!

14) great bar. bartender showed me the little half page a Badly Bearded Boy (BBB) had left for her, a miniature listy of reasons of why she should date him. Hey guy, we laughed at your twee ass list of shitty qualities (Daring, Caring, Punctual, and something about being good with directions?!), you should try a differient approach? may? haps? ????

15) Including a chicken sandwich, at a country club, bought for me by a racist and served by a black waitress PS. it was NOT a very good sandwich

16) not that it matters, as I’m the best poster

17) this 1s bullshit because I found much of the decay beautiful because Ive been taught to romanticize atavistic nonsense because, insh’allah and insh’swampman, my generation is firmly, proudly anti-Enlightenment

keroppi posted:

(don’t be haters, you contrarians – I’m at least a couple of metas above you, and very likely a lot more intelligent)

& heres the greatest hyperlink you’ll ever click open.

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